Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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