i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
