From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
