Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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