I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
