I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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