I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
