Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can I color on your dick again?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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