I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
