can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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