i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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