Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
