Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
