alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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