she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
