A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
