that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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