i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
