he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
