Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
third nipple confirmed
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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