another moral hangover. fuck.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
