fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
