you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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