his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
honey bunches of taint.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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