Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
