she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
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