Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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