plz talk dirty to me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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