She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
