My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
