don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
