We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
