I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
