Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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