Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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