Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Randomize
