I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
True strength comes from lack of pants
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
