I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
