Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
