Walk of Shame. In a state park.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
