Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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