Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
