I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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