hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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