I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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