Say something about gay babies.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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