hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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