Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
