They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
