I think I am morally bankrupt
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
