I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
