You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
